.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

8/13/2005

 

The Rudeness Epidemic

Has anyone been rude to you lately?

Share your experience and tell us how you handled it. Did you keep quiet and suffer in silence? Did you mouth-off at the rude person, or find a way to speak up and get what you want without causing an argument?

FEATURED COMMENTS:

Anonymous said...
Thanks for your blog - I just discovered it. Yesterday alone - a cab driver, a waitress, and my aging mother (!) all were rude to me. I try breathing a lot, and a little silent compassion - but it takes patience and true grace under pressure to remember to do that all the time.
Sunday, September 11, 2005 4:57:00 PM

Sara said...
I can't stand rude people. There is a woman at my office who always finishes off the coffee and doesn't make a new pot. She is so inconsiderate! I always keep quiet and just make the new pot myself because I don't want to start a problem. Am I doing the right thing? Any one have advice?
Saturday, August 06, 2005 1:22:07 PM


Joan said...
Sara- I have advice for you... Unless your job description includes making coffee for everyone in your office you should talk up! I would call a "coffee meeting" with the other coffee drinkers, tell them the problem (without pointing a finger at anyone) and then make a rule that whoever empties the pot fills it. Good luck - Joan
Saturday, August 06, 2005 5:35:24 PM


Andrew said...
Here's my problem with rude people - I live in a NYC and date a lot. My pet peeve is women who don't call me back. Even after we've been on a few dates, some women think it is okay to ignore my phone call if they don't want to go out with me again. I understand that this is their attempt to let me down easy, but I think it's just plain rude! I have to waste my time wondering whether she got my message. I wish someone would tell women that men prefer honesty to evasion.
Sunday, August 07, 2005 12:01:09 PM


Ruth said...
If I ever noticed someone being rude in public, I could say, "Did your mother ever teach you any manners?", or silently wish that the offender receives a book by any manners arbiter, or underwear as a birthday or holiday gift. I could even be emboldened enough to say, "It's etiquette school for you!" ... I have occasionally read references to the decline of civility, which has given my imagination a jump start. This made me consider the (semi)-likelihood of manners arbiters and other authority figures making rules of an extreme or Draconian nature, which would only end up being impossible to follow. In addition, this aspect of today's world reminds me of the sadness of life's passing. If civility does die out completely, I would be reminded of losses of a more personal nature....
Monday, August 08, 2005 9:20:37 AM


Bill said... I'm really enjoying reading about people's experience with rudeness. Sunday, August 21, 2005 10:57:33 AM

Anonymous said...
Just in the past two hours I had to deal with idiot cell phone users doing all their grocery shopping while chatting on their phones, completely oblivious to any and all around them; some knucklehead customer at a store for whom I held the door open without any sort of acknowledgement from him at all (I loudly said, "You're welcome!" as he walked inside.); and in an otherwise quiet fast-food place, a teenage girl loudly discussing her sexual escapades with her friend across the table. I would say that her parents would be mortified, though I'm guessing such bad behavior is learned from them. Where do these people come from? Don't get me started on cell phone use while driving. The car companies might as well start making all new models without blinkers since so few people use them anymore due to the fact that they can't turn them on while chatting on a hand-held phone. Aaargh!
Monday, August 22, 2005 3:39:41 AM

Let me politely request that you click the comment link below to write and post your comment. Thank you! Best, Laurie

Comments:
I can't stand rude people. There is a woman at my office who always finishes off the coffee and doesn't make a new pot. She is so inconsiderate! I always keep quiet and just make the new pot myself because I don't want to start a problem. Am I doing the right thing? Any one have advice?
 
Sara- I have advice for you... Unless your job description includes making coffee for everyone in your office you should talk up! I would call a "coffee meeting" with the other coffee drinkers, tell them the problem (without pointing a finger at anyone) and then make a rule that whoever empties the pot fills it. Good luck - Joan
 
Here's my problem with rude people - I live in a NYC and date a lot. My pet peeve is women who don't call me back. Even after we've been on a few dates, some women think it is okay to ignore my phone call if they don't want to go out with me again. I understand that this is their attempt to let me down easy, but I think it's just plain rude! I have to waste my time wondering whether she got my message. I wish someone would tell women that men prefer honesty to evasion.
 
If I ever noticed someone being rude in public, I could say, "Did your mother ever teach you any manners?", or silently wish that the offender receives a book by any manners arbiter, or underwear as a birthday or holiday gift. I could even be emboldened enough to say, "It's etiquette school for you!" The underlying message is that I would hate to see the offender get off scot-free. And if the offender is calorically challenged (a p.c. term for "overweight"), I could tacitly wish that s/he would get diabetes, or have a heart attack.

I have occasionally read references to the decline of civility, which has given my imagination a jump start. This made me consider the (semi)-likelihood of manners arbiters and other authority figures making rules of an extreme or Draconian nature, which would only end up being impossible to follow. In addition, this aspect of today's world reminds me of the sadness of life's passing. If civility does die out completely, I would be reminded of losses of a more personal nature. And if I still feel bad about it, I could even pass myself off as a cancer patient, so that I could attend a social event at Gilda's Club.
 
It's difficult to deal with rudeness without falling into it yourself. It's even hard to put into action Laurie's very sensible recommendations, because rudeness hurts. It's like a slap in the face, and depending on your inclination, you back down or hit back. The hard part is stopping yourself and thinking, because those fight-or-flight instincts kick in so quickly. That takes self-discipline and practice. Often, when I try to respond in the polite way Laurie recommends, I can't keep the hurt and anger out of my face and voice, and maintain a neutral appearance.
 
When my daughter and son-in law visit he likes to take his shirt off to keep cool. He has done this in the past without asking my permission and I thought it was rude, but I kept quiet about it. Now all three of our children and their mates will be visiting and I asked my daughter to tell her husband to keep his shirt on this time, and she calls ME rude.He weighs close to 400 pounds and sticks out all over the place. Am I being rude?
 
I tolerate a lot of rudeness. But if it's racist rudeness, I'm on the edge of confronting the offending person, even if it escalates into a fight. You see, minorities have been experiencing rudeness more than whites in this country. You don't get used to it. The more you experience rudeness, the more you hate it. In this in-your-face era, you're forced to get mean, or you get eaten.
 
Hi. I am a 25 year old chick from LA{the rudest place on earth), recently moved,{thank God}. Yes, I'm happy I found this site, a small comfort. I get rudeness all the time, especially from young people. It's gotten so, I barely like to go out at all to run errand's. Women are more aggressive than men, I notice. What I really notice, and what is really disturbing is people seem to try to confront you and seek you out to be blatently rude. What I mean by that is they purposely try to seek eye contact with you, and make sure you see the dirty look their giving you. Now, I dress normal, I don't dye my hair weird color's, and I mind my own business. I find this creepy and bizarre, and I think it's beginning to happen in rural area's because I live in a rural area now. Even going to the super market is hard. It's ridiculous.
 
Isn't saying "YOU'RE WELCOME" or "Didn't your mother teach you any manners?" Just fighting rudeness with rudeness? Much like fighting fire with fire, it doesn't seem to me to be very productive.
 
To the gentlemen who wrote about women not returning his phone calls and men "preferring honesty to evasion," well, you all have certainly fooled us! You, sir, must be the only decent man in new York City. I cannot count how many times I have called a man after a date to thank him for a lovely time only to have that call ignored. It can be argued who started the rudeness, but it seems to me that men and women are just fighting dishonesty and evasion with dishonesty and evasion. This is not right, but it needed to be pointed out. As for me, I will continue to be who i am, and I hope you will too.
 
I work in retail and I'm having a hard time dealing.
Today we were swamped, and this woman came in with her daughter.
The daughter wanted me to find a pair of black boots in her size, she brought up the brown ones just like it as an example, so I looked, and we didn't have them.
I told her I was sorry, we were sold out.
Later her mother came up with the brown boots and wanted me to look up the black pair in my computer, which I cannot do because the numbers do no match, I told her, I'll go try to find a black pair.
I looked in all the boot sections in all of the sizes, and I found nothing.
So I told the woman that I couldn't look them up without the lot number, and that I was sorry, we were all sold out.
She said, quite rudely, "So, you refuse to help me?"
I was more or less shocked with this response. It felt like a slap in the face.
I replied, "No, no, Its just I can't do anything without the number."
So she went back and told my manager that I refused to help her.
I almost broke down and cried.
I really do no know how to deal with these kind of people, any help would be great, because I'm bound to run into more.
 
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?