Want to know how to stop rudeness in its tracks?
8 out of 10 Americans say that rudeness is a serious problem (Pew Charitable Trust research study).
Imagine this: You had a long day at work. You’re tired and expect to unwind on your train ride home. You take your seat and within minutes, you hear the melodic ring of a cell phone coming from the purse of the woman sitting next to you. You hope she won't take the call, but she does. She talks loud enough for everyone around her to learn about the details of her visit to the doctor and why she’s mad at her boss. With each passing moment, you get closer and closer to blowing your cool…
Do you respond like a pitbull or a doormat? Do you...
1) Attack and mouth-off, “Who do you think you are? Zip it lady and turn that stupid phone off now!”
2) Keep quiet. Say nothing to the rude person and let you're frustration, anger and blood pressure build.
Whether you're a pitbull or a doormat, you won't get you what you want - an end to the offensive behavior. What will end the rude behavior is a third option, the "Rudeness Cure" - the effective verbal defense for fending off attacks from the rude, selfish, greedy, uncivil, unethical and down-right aggravating offenders we encounter.
Listen to Laurie's radio interview on National Public Radio's WNYC station on The Leonard Lopate Show to learn the powerful 3-Step Rudeness Cure. Click on http://www.wnyc.org/shows/lopate/episodes/08232005 scroll down and listen to the show segment entitled "Instant Persuasion."
How rude is it?
When my daughter and son-in law visit he likes to take his shirt off to keep cool. He has done this in the past without asking my permission and I thought it was rude, but I kept quiet about it. Now all three of our children and their mates will be visiting and I asked my daughter to tell her husband to keep his shirt on this time, and she calls ME rude. He weighs close to 400 pounds and sticks out all over the place. Am I being rude?
Sheryl Thomas responded...
Hi! No, I don't think you're being rude. But, there might be a better way to make your point. Instead of singling out this one son-in-law, you could make a "policy" that no one is allowed to take their shirt off in your home. Inform all of your children of this rule and say that you would feel more comfortable in your home if everyone keeps their clothes on. If anyone is too hot, then they should tell you and you will try to turn up the air conditioning.
FYI - I learned the "policy" communication wonder from Laurie Puhn's Instant Persuasion book in the chapter "Get off the hook" It's a great way to de-personalize a situation to avoid offending someone.
Saturday, October 01, 2005 12:51:36 PM