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9/03/2005

 

How rude is it?

The blog received the following question from a reader...

Anonymous said...
When my daughter and son-in law visit he likes to take his shirt off to keep cool. He has done this in the past without asking my permission and I thought it was rude, but I kept quiet about it. Now all three of our children and their mates will be visiting and I asked my daughter to tell her husband to keep his shirt on this time, and she calls ME rude. He weighs close to 400 pounds and sticks out all over the place. Am I being rude?



Sheryl Thomas responded...

Hi! No, I don't think you're being rude. But, there might be a better way to make your point. Instead of singling out this one son-in-law, you could make a "policy" that no one is allowed to take their shirt off in your home. Inform all of your children of this rule and say that you would feel more comfortable in your home if everyone keeps their clothes on. If anyone is too hot, then they should tell you and you will try to turn up the air conditioning.

FYI - I learned the "policy" communication wonder from Laurie Puhn's Instant Persuasion book in the chapter "Get off the hook" It's a great way to de-personalize a situation to avoid offending someone.
Saturday, October 01, 2005 12:51:36 PM

Comments:
Hi! No, I don't think you're being rude. But, there might be a better way to make your point. Instead of singling out this one son-in-law, you could make a "policy" that no one is allowed to take their shirt off in your home. Inform all of your children of this rule and say that you would feel more comfortable in your home if everyone keeps their clothes on. If anyone is too hot, then they should tell you and you will try to turn up the air conditioning.

FYI - I learned the "policy" communication wonder from Laurie Puhn's Instant Persuasion book in the chapter "Get off the hook" It's a great way to de-personalize a situation to avoid offending someone.
 
go to the hardware store and purchase a small sign that says: no shirt, no shoes, no service
and then tape it to the front door
if he STILL doesn't get the point, and continues to take off his shirt, ask him when the rest of the show commences and if he charges for just a semi strip. then give him a quarter tip. (do this in fun mind you)
you might also place some diet books about where he may see them
 
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