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10/02/2006

 

Smokers and Cell Phone Talkers - What a Mix!

QUESTION:

Dear Laurie,

I read your book with intrigued fascination. It has helped things very much, but I had an experience today that I’d love to see you address: I was very tired, sitting in a lovely garden seat (no seats around for a couple of blocks away), quietly reading and finally comfortable, when a young woman came, sat down and began a loud cell phone conversation while facing me frontally. She was incensed when I asked for some quiet, and said she didn’t think she owed anyone any consideration.

It was heated, but I explained I came there first for quiet, and she later at least turned to the side to talk, which I endured. She then smoked a cigarette that was unpleasant. I had worked all day, too fatigued to move, and needed this break. It was nice when she left!

What say you on words for inconsiderate cellphone talkers and smokers?

You are very inspiring—part of the solution, not the problem! Thanks very much for all your helpful and meaningful work!
-Jill Z. Philadelphia


ANSWER:

Dear Jill,

Thank you for contacting me. You handled the situation very well. The best idea is to explain the "why" behind what you are asking for (and you did just that). Koodos to you. Most people will reconsider their behavior when informed that they are making someone else uncomfortable. A rare few will argue, and others will exhibit the rude behavior with an even greater intensity.

Regarding smoking, when you are outside and there aren't any empty benches or tables, it is acceptable for a person to smoke near you. It is not enjoyable, but in the outdoors, smokers have the right to smoke. Now, they should be polite and look for the most secluded spot, but if they don't, then it is the non-smoker's responsibility to find a new spot. Of course, there are times when a polite smoker will ask, "Do you mind?" before lighting up. In that case, be honest and say, "Thank you for asking. Actually smoke does make me uncomfortable."

Warm wishes,
Laurie Puhn
www.lauriepuhn.com

Comments:
I think Jill Z. had every right to stand up to this women since she was being very obnoxious. When someone asks you to cut them some slack because they're trying to enjoy some peace and quiet, I think the opposing party should grant that person some respect, not throw them attitude. We have become an extremely rude society and hopefully people will start behaving better soon.
 
I think you mean Kudos not koodos
 
Any one who has had experience in the translating of dreams will, ofcourse, immediately perceive that penetrating into narrow spaces, andopening locked doors, belong to the commonest sexual symbolism, and willeasily find in this dream a representation of attempted coition frombehind (between the adult porn two stately buttocks of the female body).
 
Just curious, on the left side of the main page, it sais "I am harvard-educated etc..." Isnt it supposed to be "I am 'a' harvard-educated" ?

Oh and one more thing, ABC has a great segment they do called "Basic Instinct" and lauren's rudeness blog has alot similar to it, I am watching part 2 of the programme right now..I think you can watch last weeks on the abc website.
 
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